So here it is.. a glimpse into the life journey of not one but 3 families and how they all miraculously intertwine. Not seamlessly, mind you, but comfortably.
Hughie and I met in September 2006.We didn't exactly hit it off at first. I thought he was just a dork. A cute dork, but a dork all the same. But we became friends and saw each other often outside of school. Ditching the second half of the day, riding home together and at Teen Night at the Fernley Pool. Eventually I realized that my feelings for him were far deeper than friendship. I was dating a friend of his at the time, but broke it off when I saw how I truly felt. I couldn't lead the other guy on. So on October 4, 2006 at 7:35 am [ just as the first bell was ringing] we became a couple. A month later, the weekend before Thanksgiving actually, he proposed. I will never forget how sweet and nervous he was. His words exactly:
"I know that we're young but I love you with all me heart and soul. I can't see my future without picturing you in it. When we are older and ready, would you marry me?"
I said yes, of course. Who could deny such honesty and passion?
In February I suspected that I was pregnant. Being young; full of raging hormones and what not; we weren't very cautious. On Washington's Birthday I took a pregnancy test at a friend's house and there were two lines. Lucky me. I was 17 and was going to have a baby with my 16 year old boyfriend. We kept it a secret from both of our families for awhile. Mid-March I told my parents. They were definitely not pleased. My mother locked herself in the bathroom. My father, instead of yelling at me, opted for the even scarier calm-silence. Nothing says "I'm disappointed in you" like a steely cold stare from my dad.
Hughie's mother didn't even believe us at first! She took me to the Pregnancy Clinic to witness a test for herself before she would actually acknowledge it.
I was not living at home at this time. We bounced from friend's house to friend's house, occasionally staying with his family but i had to sleep on the couch.
Easter weekend we went camping on Lake Lahontan with our friends Hobo Tom, Skylar and Cowboy. Late at night in our makeshift tent, [Hughie hung blankets over a fallen tree for the two of us to sleep in], we discussed possibilities for our future and agreed that adoption was the best option for our unborn child. We knew it would not be easy to just let him go so an agreement was made that it would have to be an open adoption. Where we could get to know his parents, see him from time to time and basically be reassured constantly that he was okay and that we had made the right decision.
In July I contacted the Independent Adoption Center [IAC] and they sent me letters from prospective adoptive parents that were located in California. I was offered families in Nevada but I didn't think I could handle being so close to him. [By then I had found out that I was going to have a boy.] I scanned each letter hoping to find something, a sign, any word that said "these are the ones". Page after page described couples to me. Promises of caring homes, openness, people telling me I was brave for considering this, etc. All pretty much the same. And then I saw them.
Shane and Deanna's letter was attractive to the eye, full of warmth and love for not only each other but the son or daughter they wished to have. What really made my decision easier was their smiles in the picture on front. It was taken outside [by a family member I later learned, her brother-in-law] and their smiles were so bright and full of hope. I turned to my cousin LeAnne, sitting beside me on the bed, and said "I found his parents." On July 26th LeAnne made that first call. I was so nervous. But once the phone was handed to me and I heard Deanna's voice coming through; all excited and kind; I knew I had chosen the right ones.
So we talked, we met in person on a warm August night, decided we meshed well and wanted to begin a new part of the journey together.
This is the not-so-happy part of the story so I will condense it. Hugh is 1/4 Chuckchansi Indian. his tribe was notified of the adoption and disagreed with us on where our son should be. We decided to speak to them personally. Hugh and I flew to California on September 17th [MY 18TH BIRTHDAY!] to see the tribe on the following Monday. But God apparently had another plan altogether. On Thursday September 20th I went into early labor. How early? A whole month. After hours of great pain, stress, paperwork, and a frantic drive from Nevada for my parents it was time for the big, blessed event. Our little boy was born at 3:06 am on September 21, 2007. He was a tiny 5lbs. ans 11oz., and 20 in. long. He was perfect in our eyes. Deanna and Shane got a little boy like they dreamed of for so many years. He had to be in the NICU at Northridge Hospital for 2 weeks due to weak lungs but it brought the four of us that much closer.
The tribe is still trying to fight us on our decision to place him with the Moore's but we signed relinquishments and have returned to Fernley. The last 6 weeks with Shane and Dee have been tests of willpower, no doubt but we have pushed through and found a bit of courage and backbone in each of us undiscovered until now. Together we have become a strange, eccentric at times, little family all our own. Hugh and I will always be there for Aedyn [his birth name was James Mitchell, but his adoptive name will be Aedyn James] as support and love. We may have been the ones to bring him into this world but Shane and Deanna will be the ones getting him through it in one piece. They are his parents. And we could not be more blessed to have them in our lives.
Well that's our story up until now. Hughie and I will will update often with anecdotes of our new lives. Here's to laughter and friendship. And to learning that family is not flesh and blood, but being there for one another, showing support for all endeavors.
"...And above all things LOVE." [~Moulin Rouge]
