merry merry merry

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Even though I love everything I unwrapped this morning I already received the best present a few days ago...
My Dad coming home after being in the "sandbox" for the last few months.
Since I moved to Virginia fall last year it had been over a year since I had been able to spend time with him. He's really making up for that though, making chili and helping me clean out a lot of crap thats beenb slowing down my computer.

This would be the perfect Christmas if Brett were here.
But he will be home next week thankfully, and we will get to this all over again!

Short post I know but that chili is calling my name!

wherever you are, stay safe and be happy
Amber Starr

La Dee Da

Just a quick post...
Brett's been here for 3 weeks and so far its been great. I missed him so much!
Our birthdays are this weekend and I'm so excited!
Turning 21 is a big milestone. Old enough to go gamble woohoo haha...
I'm hoping to actually celebrate in Reno but we shall see...

Well, I gotta skidaddle, we are trying to watch A League of Their Own [<3] but our Netflix instant view is acting weird...

Until we meet again...

grr

So I turned down a job at Rack Room Shoes at the Lake Square Mall in Leesburg AND an apartment 2 doors down from my sister for a position at Target in Reno that I DIDN'T GET...
Now I know I should try to reevaluate the situation and see why God led me back here but right now all I can see is that this was a waste of my time and money.
Right now I could be working, living in my own place and would get to see Brett on the 19th... But instead I'm back at my freaking moms, no job, and have to wait until the 28th to see him. And it sucks. I hate this helpless; "I screwed everything up because I'm so damn impulsive" feeling that is all too familiar.
Now mom's talking about me trying to go back if the job and apartment are still available... I don't know if that is really an option. I know Brett would flip if he had to change his ticket again.
But to quote Robin Williams [paraphrasing Gandhi] "Then I must do what I have got to do"

this is how i feel today..

Here I am once again, feeling lost right now and then I breath it in to let it go. And you don't know where you are now or what it will come to if only somebody could hear. When you figure out how, you're lost in the moment you disappear. You don't have to be afraid to put your dreams in action, you're never gonna fade, you'll be the main attraction. Not a fantasy. Just remember me when it turns out right. Cause you know that if you live in your imagination, tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination. In my victory, just remember me when I make it shine. Reaching high, feeling low. I'm holding on but letting go. I'd like to shine, I'll shine for you. And it's time to show the world how, it's a little bit closer as long as I'm ready to go. All we have is right now as long as you feel it inside you know.

Yeah that's pretty much it. Fear, anticipation and inspiration haha...